Hm... I think i wanna move to wordpress.

Bye. See ya at http://berberlicious.wordpress.com.

:)

I watched Rhinoceros. It's a dance. Apparently it was inspired by a play of the same name by Eugene Inoesco. Whoever he is. I have not heard of his name before.

It feels good... because it's something I wanted to do for a long time. Watch something artistic, abstract. Yeah, I enjoyed myself! Can check this out...

www.thestudios.com.sg

Anywayz.

My adventure today...

I happily walked to Esplanade looking for the "Theatre studio". There is another place called the "theatre". Of course it's confusing. Bah.

Anywayz, the veyr professional sounding usher directed me to the studio.

Nice place. Very close to the dancers... small than the NUS UCC... reminded me of the dance days. Sigh.

Anywayz. Crowd. Students. Some ang-mohs. One or two random person you would never expect at these kind of performance... nerdy uncle with specs. There's this uncle sitting right in front. I was thinking, when I retired, I can do this kind of thing!

So.. my feelings.... When I gave my ticket to the person, I was a bit scared... cos I was alone and she was giving me weird looks. Anywayz. Yah.

Date with Jesus! Enjoyed~~

I really like how the dancers interacted with each other... There were a lot of touch... and their expression... wah. And it was one hour of intensive dancing... They are really really good... You know like if you ever watch any other dances, non-professional kind, there will always be like one "star" dancer... but not this... the dancers are all really good. Actually come to think of it, only this one girl don't have a "solo"... quite sad sia.

I actually don't mind watching it again. Because I think if some parts are impromptu; should be quite fun to watch again to see what's different.

They used bean bags! Quite cool... nice props really... And they really threw themselves on the bean bags... quite a good idea... and I think really fun. Hahaha.

My butt hurt from sitting so long. One hour.

Nice! I would do it again... Had fun. Really.

Oh yes.. I prefer this kind to ballets.. because.. Oh well I didn't watch that many ballets but... my impression of ballet is there's a lot of focus on technique. Not that modern dance doesn't.. but seems less structured. Coming from a person who is looking for structure in everything she does... ironic. Ha. That I prefer these kind of dance and music... the less structured kind.

You know Pastor was like saying he likes Bach. I tell you....... I DON'T LIKE BACH. RAH. Hated playing Bach. My stronger ones were the more modern pieces with rubato... and whatever... I can't keep to a rhythm for nuts. Hahaha. I love Beethoven!

I like this !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVijhLo-f70

i am struggling with........

waiting.

i know life is meant to be so much more.

yet i feel like my life is not much more now... it's either that; or my eyes are blinded to my blessings. I just can't feel blessed.

a few days ago i was feeling like... i don't need a bf...

now it's like... i want a bf kind of feeling.

argh. i hate these feelings.

but yes, feelings are feelings.

they are not based on the truth.

the truth is... jesus has set me free.

i don't even have to be bound by my own feelings about things.

i go by the spirit.

but yes, things are happening at my work place, i feel... i know it's favour... but i can't seem to be able to credit god for it. oh well. but god i know it is you! who am i that men shall have favour on me?

i feel that god wants to tell me... i am the center of his universe. that i'm important, i'm of value to him. no one will ever replace me in his life. there will never be another me.

yes... and spend time in his word. waiting but waiting with a purpose.

sigh!

searching for god, but ended up shopping, spending money, eating, whatever-ing... but i never got down to the one thing needful.

sigh! stop stealing my time.

i wan to finish all my books.

spend some time reading the bible.

etc etc.

tired now. sleepy.

yes. there is so much more.

I am thinking back on the relationship again...

Haha.

But it seems like... I think I saw God's grace in it.

Like... it was actually a mistake.

Sigh. Zhang zhe me da le still lidat.

Hmz... It was a journey of leaning on Him more...

It showed me... I can actually still like someone. I actually still have a heart to give away to someone who can take care of it...

And I think once again.. God did the Mannaseh and Ephraim thing again. Caused me to forget and caused me to be fruitful.

I actually find life more fulfilling now. Seems like I did a lot of stuff... went bangkok in Feb, mission trip in Apr... now hopefully ministry wise and work wise also got more things going on...

Work... feels like a new season... I feel so... stretched. Especially after my colleague left. But I guessed it shall turn out to be good. Like everyone's saying I'm the da jie there yada yada... right... increase my pay please if you really appreciate me. If not I will leave. Haha.

But yes... it all shall be right place right time... I'm learning to rest in this tiredness and hecticness at work... New boss, new blah whatever.... anywayz, Yah.

Hmz... Sigh.. this was supposed to be wrap up! But I'm feeling so sleepy now.

Anywayz. Yah.

It was a mistake but... I learnt that... Marriage is not my God. God is. Don't want any other idols except God.. but you know la, it's so difficult. Many many distractions... twitter. Blogshops. emails. Job search.

It shall be good!!! Whatever happens. It feels like such a long tedious process.... No interviews yet. But sigh... I don't want to forfeit money..... so.... I guess I'll just have to wait.

I got plenty of time. No rush.

No rush for jobs, no rush for relationships. But it would be nice Lord. Really nice. haahah.

Singlehood is good.

I guess unless you really find the someone who lifts you up... That would be nice.

Makes me wonder... about friendship.

God is my friend.

Oh well.. wanted to say many other things. Haha! But I guess not in this public domain. Oops. tata!

I was really hoping to learn more about the banking industry... but once again proven wrong. Metanoia needed.

Deacon Chee Ram spoke with such ease... I think things really just "happened" for him and he actually didn't start out in the banking side until 7 years into his career.

Haha I really can picture the dotted picture colouring. You really don't see the picture until you join all the dots. And you can't join the dots without going through life. Once the dots are joined you will see a beautiful picture... Hmz so where does the coloring come in? Haha nvm.

Think it was remembering who brought you success. Remember the source of all your blessings. And of course, back to the "where is your calling", "where did god call you to"... and time and chance really happen to them all. He was sharing that research in banking used to be back room but after that when trading became more prevalent and banks had to offer clients research material then they became more front line... blah blah.. Oh well.. anywayz.

How can I once again, turn up at a meeting and not expect to be blessed?

Anywayz... see how in this job. But I really want a change :(. I'm getting tired. The follow ups are really driving me crazy. And things really don't change... and everybody wants to leave. But then again, if you want to leave, you still need to do a good job right? Sigh.

Hmz... anywayz God is with you even in the shittiest shitholes... that's the most important part to remember. God is with me now. With me at work. With me everywhere. That being said, this is the first time I think to myself, I can enjoy work. I can enjoy what I'm doing... I think it really makes a hell lot of difference... Oops I mean, a heaven lot of difference... It brings a sort of satisfaction and makes you want to have more... Hmz.. I really like to get things moving and see some order. Oops. That being said, my room is still a mess... but who cares really. Haha.

Anyway, he shared aboout GOd being outside time, and God going back into your history and into your memory to bring into remembrance moments that requires healing... I think the point is... God wants you to be whole, in your soul and in your body... and God is the one bringing the money in for you.

Bottom line: do what you enjoy.

Actually I feel like my life is just starting.

Great. at 27. Hmz. I like my age. Hahahah.

It was really depressing at work yesterday.

In Thailand, I feel like super star.

In Singapore, in my office, I feel in significant and small. Like a little shrimp.

And I want a new job. Sigh.

Anywayz, to the girlies in VP.

I wish for you to know Christ more.

I myself need him more and more.... I think, and I hope.... you will seek Him. But He will seek you and find you first. I think I need to tell myself that. I am not God. I do not have the strength to do this. I can't help them more than I want to. And it's not my job. Thank God.

But God, I'm telling you now... There has to be a way for him to receive feeding of the word. It can't be that after salvation, they are deprived of this wonderful experience of knowing you.

But yes, thank God. They are saved.

And among them, potential movers and shakers of the world.

Among them, a preacher to save souls, a nurse to save lives, a tour guide to impart joy.

And I am really amazed and captured by what Chris from gateway shared.

From Thailand the gospel is spreading to Vietnam, to Cambodia, to China, to Laos. Whee!

I want to learn Thai.

Haha. Helps in shopping.

And I really want to cry at my own helplessness.... limited resources, time, wisdom... everything.

We are there to sow seeds. We are there to bring joy in that season, in that moment.

I think the girls took the separation better than us.

They know we are foreigners and need to leave.

We all can't bear to leave actually.

Anywayz.

"Wait and see".

See how God is going to move here and there.

;)