So much for complaining about my lack of time to blog... and here I am spending my time twittering and fb-ing. ARGH! major argh. Yes and tvvvvv....

So anywayz....

Just wanna share...

So anywayz I'm no longer in a relationship.

Feeling quite happy and free actually. But actually I'm still a bit sad that I have to go through the whole process of a relationship again..... But oh well... it's really his loss isn't it? So anyway it's not to complain about him but to share what I've learnt.

1. Don't ever treat your bf/gf as your future husband/wife.
This is a personal lesson. Nobody told you that right? Anyway it's to guard your heart in case it didn't work out. Even if all the signs in the stars fall into place... (omg just recalled a very silly me looking out for signs).... don't. It's not really healthy and it puts undue pressure on the other person.

2. Myself.
I am amazed at myself. Hahaha. And I realised I have gotten over persons whom I've liked before yada yada... Even during the course of the relationship I realize I do recover quite quickly even though it really hurts super duper a lot... but Jesus was always there for me... and I just recovered. Suddenly.

3. Willingness and commitment
There must be a willingness from both parties to want to go through the journey with each other.... meaning you have to be open to share your feelings even though it makes you feel uncomfortable. You have to be able to confront yourself even. It's not really a marriage covenant... but as you are in the relationship working towards whether you are suitable for marriage.... must be willing to let the other party correct. Be open. And be committed to working things out. It never is an easy journey... since we are all human, there are bound to be moments of heartaches. But anyway Pastor shared today that Jesus' yoke is easy and his burden is light... So I wan to take this revelation into a relationship as well... even in the midst of heartaches... it will be easy to receive correction and easy to say sorry and easy to say thank you.

Last thing... whatever anger i feel towards the other person... is really not my pasa anymore.... new thing I learnt today! I mean... it was really easy to say it doesn't matter when you don't care about the person at all.... it's just so much harder to tell God... I don't care... I'm going to put it in your hands... when you care a lot and really want to do something for the person. It was really easier to let go of when it concerns pple you don't really care about. Hmz. So now it's a choice once again to say I don't care anymore!! I don't wanna care anymore!! Hahaha.

Oh well. Be nice and pray and commit to the Lord... It's not that I don't care... I can't. It's God's problem isn't it? Hahaha.

Really have to blog this down before i forget... i think the whole beauty about this was... God took a wrong relationship and made it into something beautiful. He made me a more whole person, he changed my perspectives about this area (marriage and all), and I think I've really walked out victorious. With spoils. Yeah.

Oh... and I didn't cry after the decision was made. I think I've cried enough for this whole year. And... I recall a lot of Jesus moments... he was pursuing me... and i think that's really for me and Him. Hahaha. I am enjoying my own secret moments with Him... and the sweet lovely things that He tells me.

Hope my entry helps u singles! Hahaha... even the attached. hahha.

we went through fire and through water; but You brought us out to rich fulfillment.

i think the above verse from devo a few days summarised my 2009.

and of course rich fulfilment and abundance in 2010. :)

Ps 8:2 -
Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, Because of Your enemies, That You may silence the enemy and the avenger.

Matthew 21
15But when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that He did, and the children crying out in the temple and saying, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" they were indignant 16and said to Him, "Do You hear what these are saying?"
And Jesus said to them, "Yes. Have you never read,

"Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have perfected praise'?"

Hosea 14:2
Take words with you, And return to the LORD. Say to Him, "Take away all iniquity; Receive us graciously, For we will offer the sacrifices (fruit) of our lips.

Hebrew 13
14For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. 15Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

Numbers 24:8
8"God brings him out of Egypt;
He has strength like a wild ox;
He shall consume the nations, his enemies;
He shall break their bones
And pierce them with his arrows.

There is some connection here.... Ox, praise, strength. Strength = praise = ox.

The sacrifice is an ox. And in praising God (read numbers). Balaam actually blessed Israel by speaking of God's blessings over them, and actually speaking of how good God is to them. Isn't that like praising God? Fruit of our lips... fruits are sweet. It is really sweet to sing praises and give thanks to the Lord. We are blessing ourselves in the midst of praising and exalting God.

Speaking of Jesus, the ox. If you don't understand, anyway, nvm. I'm happy! hahaha. I think today's message was very in line with what Pastor Benjamin preached at GenRev. Hee.

funny when.

i want to blog i don't blog.

now i'm really stuck.

it's so strange I don't know waht to say.

what to say?

i think i just wanna believe that...

god loves ME.

so much he gave his son for ME.

He saw ME before he sent Jesus.

somehow i feel better at work already.

been really busy bcos of split office due to the h1n1. now, please call of the thing already. and i'm basically doing the work of 2 persons.

thanks to one staff being on reservist, i have a trusty assistant now. Sigh. Once he's back, i have to deal with the mess again. I'll feel like I'm doing the work of 3 persons. Sigh.

Anywayz.

back to feeling good.

And...

wanna share on confession!

these past few days I have been confessing that I'm an heir of the world. I inherit the promises of God. yada yada....

But it is the confession from rest; and not the confession from work. In the past I have this attitude towards confession... that I have to keep saying, and repeating it to myself, and drill it inside myself, drill inside my head first, then drill into my heart.

But... this confessing... is so easy.

maybe it's really bcos of a rather depressing saturday.

anywayz. no other way to go except up when you're down, right?

i wan a macbook!!! ar!!!!

that's a diversion from my topic.

:)

All i can say now is.... I am really busy. And kind of stressed up. Can't stop thinking about work.

On a good note, more responsibilities at the time being... and it's a test whether I am really that efficient. And whether I'm that good. I think, today, I might just be good at being a PKL..... And a project to work on! So there's more stuff than my usual job scope, which actually makes me look more forward to work actually. But, I wish that I do not have to cover work of my colleague who has, unfortunately, due to the H1N1, had to be separated in a different office. Argh.

Why must everything come at one shot?

And the bf is irritating me. That's all I can say.

Being irate is not good for my stomach.

And laundry!!!! Is piling up. And I think I need a new wardrobe. I have not been shopping. My clothes all feel grubby and gross. eeks.